With so much to choose from in life, it’s easy for us to become overwhelmed. The good news is, because we have such a wide selection available to us, we cannot help but succeed. The implication here is that what we choose is not as important as the act of choosing. A willingness to participate in life is all that’s required of us. In other words, we are simply here to gain experience, not to have things be perfect all at once. How we gain this experience is entirely up to us, and each person will approach it differently. What we all need to learn is to take our attention off the “what, when and why” parts and focus more on the “doing” part. An important realization we can have in all this is that there are many pathways to achieving a fuller understanding of ourselves and our purpose. All we have to do is make a selection and get going. So why do we find this so challenging? Let’s find out what’s standing in our way.
The Paralysis of Indecision
We all get stuck at certain points in our lives. For whatever reason, we become paralyzed and are unable to make a decision. We must discover what it is we’re afraid of and get the energy moving again. Although too many choices can produce a sense of overwhelm, this can be easily overcome by narrowing them down to just two. This makes our decision-making process a little more manageable. It’s very important to give ourselves the time to weigh things out and sense what feels right to us before we proceed. What can happen quite often is that both choices seem equal. This allows us to “sit on the fence” and not make a selection. If we stay there too long, however, our energy gets gummed up and begins to affect other parts of our lives as well. It’s an uncomfortable feeling when everything comes to a halt. There is, fortunately, a solution to help us decide and get things going again. Did you know there is a third choice available? It’s not a completely different choice. It’s a choice born of the two. In our process of weighing out the two, we find compromise within ourselves and create the answer. The pressure we place on ourselves comes from the idea that we must choose one over the other. Our fear of picking the wrong one creates the paralysis we are experiencing. The reality is that we do not have to choose one or the other. We can pick the best of both and bring them together in the center. It’s in the center that the third choice is revealed, then, a combination of the two.
Changing our Mind
Much of our fear in making decisions is based on the false idea that they will be permanent. If we make the wrong decision, it will last forever. This couldn’t be further from the truth. If our choices and decisions don’t pan out, guess what? We can change our minds! This is the most helpful gift we always have available to us. If we accept this gift, we’ll find a sense of ease and be willing to take a little more risk and get moving. The universal reality is always the power of choice and the ability to change our minds at any time. We are exercising our “free will” in this way. This is indeed a right afforded to all of us.
Knowing Beforehand
The challenge we face when presented with choices is that we do have to eventually decide and select one. What keeps us sitting on the fence too long is the presumption that we can somehow know beforehand what our choice or decision will create in our lives. If we spend our time waiting for that vision of how things are going to be, we’ll be waiting a very long time! The truth is, we cannot know first and then take action. The biggest part of our process is learning how to trust ourselves and make the leap. We discover what we want to know through the actual experience. There is no other way. It’s important for us to remember that nothing is written in stone. The reality is that we’ll most likely make changes and modifications to whatever we choose or decide. Life is an unfolding process. There is never a need to worry about making the wrong decision. If we get off of our path too far, someone will let us know. We can then change our minds and choose a different direction. The most important part of our experience is the willingness to take a risk and try.
By being “Thoughtful”, we avoid being “Impulsive”
The need to just jump right in is an essential part of the process. This doesn’t negate the need for us to be thoughtful, however. No matter how much pressure our ego places on us, we always have plenty of time to consider our choices and options. Being thoughtful is being responsible. If we are too impulsive in our decision-making, we might bring in experiences we are not prepared for. It’s a happy balance that is required. How do we know if we’re being impulsive? The general rule of thumb here is that if you are emotionally charged, it may be time for more thought before you proceed. We make the best decisions from our minds, not our emotions. How do we know if we’ve given something enough consideration? When our thought process becomes repetitive, it begins to weigh us down. At this point, we have given everything enough. It’s time to make a decision and get going. What an exciting adventure it will be!
Balancing Commitment with Flexibility
Changing our course too quickly can also be a problem. Although we do have the ability to change our minds, we must also commit to what we have decided. More often than not, we leave an experience just when it’s going to work out and provide results. If we seem to be hitting a dead-end, we may just need to adjust our course slightly. Don’t get carried away, slow, modest change is best. Then again, we may need to abandon our plans entirely and choose a different direction. There’s no failure here, just a new and better way. The only universal constant we need to be aware of is that things will change. It’s a guarantee! Life is all about opportunity, after all.
Before ending the discussion today, I had a couple of thoughts about the pressure we experience in the decision-making process. Some of it comes from the outside, but most of it we do to ourselves. There is a belief in society that we must push ourselves to every possible limit, even if it kills us. This is false and unrealistic. We do need to stretch and challenge, but we also need to be honest about how we’re feeling. If we need to take a break, then we need to take a break. In some cases, we need to take the easier road, and that’s OK. There will be other times when we need to choose the harder path, the one that has a lot of fear attached to it. These are the ones that provide the most growth. It all balances out in the end, you see. The most important thing to realize through all of it is that we always have the power of choice. Remember that we cannot necessarily know what is coming our way. Choice is a good thing, but we ultimately have to use our “will” to make a selection and decide to move forward. You can do it!
*In the next post, we’ll be considering a very important tool we have available to help us out in the above process. It’s called “The Three-Day Rule”. See you then.
All my love and support, be well