When we speak of our character, we are in essence speaking about the entirety of who we know ourselves to be in any given moment. Our personal character is in fact what we are presenting to the world. This is how others see us. As we become more aware of who we are, we place ourselves in a better position to be understood by others. As much as we would like to keep ourselves a secret, the reality is that other people can see us, and we must therefore be very conscious of our actions and speech. We do of course need to remember that we are not perfect. We are indeed in a constant state of transformation. We all have a vision of who we would like to be and realize we can always be more and better. What we are attempting to create is the best version of ourselves. This is our “real” self. This is a difficult process for sure, but our efforts will prove fruitful with a willingness to be realistic, consistent, and patient. In a very real sense, our character is who we are and all we really have. Our goal then is to understand how to build more of it by understanding what is involved in the process. Let’s consider the following.
Building character through experience
In order to become a better person, we have to begin somewhere. We can begin by doing that honest self-assessment. Who am I right now? What are my best attributes, and what could stand some improvement? We have a tendency to avoid an honest look at ourselves because we are afraid of what we might see. The most important step we can take is to accept things as they are, however, or we cannot move forward. Perhaps our unwillingness to do the necessary work is due to an unrealistic vision of who we should be. The best advice I can give is to tone down or modify what is possible. Keep it simple by focusing on one thing at a time. Remember also that a willingness to improve ourselves is enough in and of itself, so just relax. Once we have discovered what we’re working on, we must practice and be consistent. We all recognize that learning new skills takes time. The same applies in the area of character improvements. One of the problems we face in the process is that we often do not know how we are doing. We will be helped greatly by understanding that we do require feedback. This is where others come in. The people in our life will let us know through our mutual interactions whether we’re on track. We do need others to a certain extent, that is why we are here. Our personal character is built through these experiences and once established, becomes a permanent part of who we are. Every human being is engaged in this process, and we need one another to be successful. We all feel insecure about our level of self-understanding. To recognize this is true humility.
Authenticity is all about the heart
There is really only one thing we are seeking to become, a loving human being. We all require love from others, and we all desire to give this love to others. Those that deny this simple reality cannot deny it forever. To understand what denial really is, is to not understand what already exists, you see. To be an authentic human being is to come from the heart in all that we say and do. This is spiritual honesty, if you will. It is love that allows us to desire to become our real selves in the first place. The foundation to all character development comes from here.
Truth is truth
The only way to be successful in life is, to tell the truth about ourselves. In every moment and every interaction, we must be honest in our presentation. There can be no trust without honesty. Most of the time, we are overly concerned with how others view or perceive us. If we are angry, then we are angry. If we are sad, then we’re sad. The most difficult thing for us to understand is that we are not here to please others. When we are asked a question, we give an honest answer to the best of our ability. If we do not know what the truth is, we are honest about that. To be who we really are in the moment is all that we can be. If we spend our life trying to be what others want us to be, we will never know ourselves. Our only job in this world is to be the best version of ourselves and give that. This is character. If we are willing to pursue our life in this way, I guarantee it will encourage others to do the same.
To be “genuine” is to be “flawed”
We are imperfect beings. Our sense of morality or right and wrong really stems from our level of experience and greatly varies from person to person. We often fail to recognize this, which is why we fall prey to self-judgment and judgment of others. We need to take an ample amount of time to forgive our own misgivings and past transgressions, and will then be much less likely to engage in this self-destructive behavior. To accept and honor ourselves as flawed creatures will put us in a powerful position indeed. Life, and especially our interactions with others, are certainly at times painful. We cannot, therefore, hold another person’s flaws against them. To acknowledge our own pain is to be willing to forgive and let go. Our inner strength is built with an iron will of humility. Although we are ultimately not responsible for others, we do not have the right to attack or blame. Our feelings and actions are our own. We are genuine and authentic because we are flawed.
Becoming our real self
Our efforts to become our “real” self involves the building of strong personal character. Consistent, kind action is an integral part of this process. You see, what we want for ourselves is what we want for others. There can be no other way. Our personal character is developed over a long period of time, this we know. We must allow others this same opportunity, or we will not be willing to do it for ourselves. The foundation of our spiritual reality is love. Every time we improve our character, we improve the world. This is loving creativity and transformation at its best. Our vision of a better life and a better world is not unfounded or unrealistic. It does however begin within.
Definitely some free-flowing, heartfelt words today! I have found simple reminders to be the most helpful! Allow yourself the same opportunity.
All my love and support, stay safe and be well