For the most part, I don’t share a lot about my personal story. It isn’t because I have something to hide, nor is it because I intend to withhold the necessary closeness we must all have. It is because I want the attention placed on you, my friends, for I wish you to have a better understanding of yourselves so that you too may be free and at peace. What I do want you to know, beyond any doubt, is that you and I are not that much different. My life has indeed been quite painful, and I have also met with great challenge and difficulty at every turn. But, my dear companions, what I need you to understand today is that there is a great light, an unbounded love that exists in every moment of darkness and uncertainty. It is my every goal, my every desire, my every promise, that you will also one day see.
I talk a lot about humility, for I now know that without it nothing can ever be truly received. At first, I attempted to force myself into a false humility by practicing a gratitude that was full of emptiness. But one day, in a moment of utmost despair, I realized there was no part of this great universe in which we exist that wanted me to be where I was. There was an unknown and unseen force that pulled me up, placed my feet on the ground, and I knew, without question, there was work to be done. I had something incredible to give.
You see, I feel deeply. This is a good thing, for none of us can find our heart without feeling something. The problem we encounter is that once something is felt, the emotional turmoil begins. Within this miasma we find ourselves, there is apparently no escape. This is when our worst fear, the thing we have desperately tried to avoid for so long, happens. Self-pity enters. This, brothers and sisters, is the most destructive of forces, for all possibility, all potential, any hope of healing is gone. To think, to analyze our way out, has no possibility of success. The only way out is acceptance. Once this happens, once this is truly felt and experienced, then all darkness is gone forever.
The light of day. Whew! I can breathe, I can see. I have reached my goal, an awareness of my own existence. It feels really good, and there is so much light now I can barely see anything at all. Then I realize there must be even more light to be had. There must be a greater love I can receive. More, more, more. The light fades, and I now see the darkness once again. The difference this time is that it is clearly behind me, but there, nevertheless. Perhaps there is more to discover in the darkness? Did I miss something? Well, I must know for sure, so how about a little back and forth. What I find that has been missing is true understanding. It is purpose that must become mine. Then one day, most unexpectedly, the light returns. Now, there is just enough. I can see behind me, I can see all around me. What I see before me, however, is something I have never seen before. A great mountain of the most exquisite beauty! A dream come true! An unexplainable disappointment now envelops me, but I also have an absolute knowing that it is ok. Everything is ok. I have everything I need.
I feel a pull, but it does not frighten me anymore. You see, my friends, there is an important truth we will find on our path. We must understand that the possibility of becoming lost in the light is just as likely as becoming lost in the dark. The reality is, we cannot have something we do not understand the purpose of. From the words of Martin Luther King, “I saw the most incredible light, but I knew I could not go there”. I remember the darkness that once consumed me. I knew the experience of being truly alone. The pull is the need of others to free themselves of a fear and darkness that has no justification. I cry, so I must help. This is our journey. It is the same path for you, and me, and we.
Perhaps I have shared too much, friends. I don’t think so, for I want you to know within every part of your being is that I and many others stand beside you. The following are a few moments of my own humble gratitude that help me understand the true nature of life and existence. It is, my fellow brothers and sisters, the service of ourselves and others that allows the light and love we require to be ours. I hope you are equally inspired!
Oh, Great Universe, Oh Almighty God, thank you for letting me be part of you
Thank you for the experience of the cave of darkness, for now I know that I am the light that lights the darkness
Thank you for showing me that the purpose of pain is to reveal my attachment to the unreal
Thank you for helping me discover the greatest gift of all, the love that I am, and the love I am able to give
Thank you for showing me the true nature of feeling, for it is the heart that provides a connection to every person, every life, and all that is
Thank you for allowing me to see that freedom is but a heartbeat away
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to help others find this very freedom
Thank you for helping me realize that my reality, the reality I see before me, the condition of the world both good and bad, can be changed with the creative process that exists in my own mind
Thank you to all my friends, my family, my partner, and to my fellow workers on the path, for all of you are the real teachers. Without you, I could not be who I am and where I am today
Thank you Great Masters, thank you Soul, thank you our Spiritual Hierarchy for showing us the purpose of togetherness
Thank you for revealing the nature of life to be one of a gentle forward motion, for it is indeed a journey into eternal greatness
Thank you, Oh Great One, for letting me participate in the beauty of who you are