My dearest friends, it’s been almost four years now at Indigo Mountain, and it has indeed been quite a journey for me. But, I must say, there would be no need or opportunity for me to do this work without you. With all my heart and mind, I want to express my sincerest gratitude to you for participating. After all, we do walk this path together, do we not? It is a powerful realization for me to know that you have welcomed me into your life as much as I have welcomed you into mine. Again, I thank you.
For those of you who have been in this work for as long as I have, you are well aware of the “Old School” approach to teaching. It basically suggests the need to remain as objective as we can with students, and indeed in our dealings with our fellow human beings. In other words, in the past, it was undesirable to develop close personal relationships with students and others, for it was likely to produce unnecessary difficulty in moving the work forward expediently. The teacher was the center, and the student was to somehow remain separate. But, we find ourselves in a New Age, and with it, comes the opportunity to create new and better ways of going about everything. Perhaps the teacher can find a new approach to teaching! Although I fully understand the necessity of being objective, keeping things impersonal, I also recognize the very important need to be a real person in every way that I am able to. What I want you to know is that I am human, I have flaws, I experience difficulty and challenge, and I am working very hard, just as you are. There is no need for you to be separate from me, no need for you to place me on any kind of pedestal, for I have earned no such position. I hope you fully understand the implications of this simple fact. Having said that, perhaps I have a little more experience in certain areas of human and spiritual living, and it is my every wish I can impart to you any wisdom I may have. It is entirely important I come to you in a personal way, at times, for each of us does in fact learn better when we can relate to one another in an honest, genuine, and humble manner. My friends, it is you and me, it is all of us together. We are brothers and sisters on a mutual journey, and we must know this, beyond any doubt. In this way, the spiritual work can move forward in every way possible, with all expediency. Perhaps we can all be of the greatest service by sharing our own lives, our own experience, in order to provide that necessary relatability, and to provide a way for others to find their way. With our support, a willingness on their part will surely be found. So, here are a few words from me to you, a little story about my own life.
Some forty plus years ago now, I found myself in college, pursuing a degree in psychology. Oh yes, I had the intelligence to go all the way and become a doctor of something! But, I didn’t have the willingness, and I didn’t know why. I found myself doing what everybody else was doing, what I thought I was supposed to do, and I could earn upwards of 500 dollars an hour at some point in the future! By the way, what human being is worth 500 dollars an hour? You see, I was in turmoil, something felt wrong about it all. I was about to pursue a life I did not want. I pictured myself sitting in an office listening to somebody’s problems all day, and at the same time, knowing full well they had no intent of doing the work they needed to do to solve those problems. Yes, I could make a lot of money doing what I’m really good at. Isn’t that what everybody else is doing? Yes, I felt very trapped by all of these uncomfortable realizations, and I knew that ultimately, I would be living in a little box of someone else’s creation. Not to mention, the psychology professions certainly have their substantial boundaries and rules that must be followed in order for me to be able to participate in that kind of work. No freedom would I have to do things in my own way. And, it seemed unlikely I would be able to sacrifice myself and live, work, and be in a little box, and have an obscene income be enough to see me through. Needless to say, I dropped out of college having no direction, no money, no understanding of myself, or where my life was going. The good news was, I at least had a vague realization that I needed to be with the people. I was a people person. I knew I had a great caring, a great love. Being a people person, I had to help, I had to give. My friends, the fear was overwhelming, the self-doubt was beyond comprehension. If that wasn’t enough, there was nobody in my life who understood why I would want to abandon everything that I was, and pursue a life with no plan or purpose. But, that’s exactly what I did.
I remember a good friend telling me one day that I was a “free spirit”. Let it be said, even the ones who don’t know, know! What I didn’t know all those years ago, is that I was apparently some kind of healer, some kind of teacher. With all my experience as a child and young adult, I also knew I was quite a bit different from everyone else. Unfortunately, there was nobody I could relate to and befriend. Essentially, I was all alone. But, I kept searching, because a subtle voice within said, “Keep going, for the kindred spirits and the real purpose you long for are waiting for you when you’re ready”. Come to find out later, there were many who were just like me. Yes, fellow brothers and sisters who truly loved humanity, those who were attempting to create a better way. Even more importantly, they understood an intent to help others find that way, too. These are the ones who walk the same path. A spiritual path, certainly, but a spiritual path like no other. Like minds and like hearts. Having found what I had been looking for, I proceeded to study about this path with them, to learn about myself, and what my particular role was in this beautiful world that is ours. Then one day, I had to also let go of that comfortable and welcomed reality I had found, and move along in the next part of my journey. I had a lot of personal issues to resolve, a lot of karma if you will, that I had to be free of, so that I could finally be available for the true work and service that was to be my destiny. I left my comrades, and entered a deep and necessary healing. I don’t need to tell you much more about this healing, for it can be found all throughout these pages. My friends, you can know of my experience, by understanding your own. After all, our individual journeys are more similar than they are different. This simple understanding brings much comfort, and much freedom to continue.
Today, much of my healing is complete, and much of the personal karma that was holding me back has been resolved. Now, I am able to do the work I always wanted to do. I teach, I heal, I share what I have learned along the way, and what I’m still learning along the way. I have decided at this time to work alone, behind the scenes for the most part. I moved away from the group I initially worked with many years ago in order to pursue my own. My friends, one day, we all have to venture out and apply the wisdom we have obtained. We each have our own way. This is what I give to you today. The inner group is me, and you, and them, and so much more. Little separation do I experience any longer. I am so pleased you are able to join me, and with your effort and willingness, you will find the same to be true for you. I do my very best to present this work from a wholistic perspective. The physical self, the emotional self, the mental self, and indeed the spiritual self are all involved in this great work, in this great healing. I do not focus so much on the physical body and its healing, for there are already many who work in the sciences, medicine, and so forth. I encourage you to pursue all of those things when it is required of you to do so. Having said that, our ultimate goal is to become the true and active esotericist. An esotericist always seeks meaning in all things, in order to reveal the causes of all that we know, see, and do. Again, we do not deal necessarily with symptoms, or effects. We wish to discover the initiating causes of those effects. This is the creative and wonderful mind, of which, our soul has every intent to reveal. And so, this is our work, and here I am, and here you are. I have asked the Hierarchy to place me where I can be of the most benefit, and it is Indigo Mountain where I find myself, and where I find you.
Before we part ways, my friends, you must understand and accept that we walk alone for a very long time. Then, we meet others we can work with and be with. These others will help us do what we need to do. When the time is right, we do engage with the healing process, to heal the separation once and for all. We must know ourselves completely, both inside and out. Then we are able to give our true self to others. This is service. We must learn how to give it all we’ve got, and we must give whatever we’ve got freely. We ask for nothing, for it costs nothing to be who we really are. Again, I must be open and honest and tell you, it is a very difficult path, but I assure you, periods of peace will increase with your simple willingness. There are days when I feel the atonement, I have an inner knowing, a love that is all that is. There are other days when I want to jump off the rooftop! And yes, there are still times when I want to give up. But, when I accept, I remember it really doesn’t matter. Then, it all comes back to me. The path is clear. I get a chance to give of my understanding to you. Thank you for participating. Spiritual service is much easier when we give what we already have, no matter how small. The door opens wide, peace and freedom for all. I will tell you that you are a great person with much to offer. I know this, because you are willing. We can only do what we can do, and we can let the rest go. Have a big heart first, and the discovery of a great mind comes next. I attempt to help you understand some of the esoteric principles, life principles really, but don’t allow yourself to be discouraged. You may not understand today, but understanding tomorrow is a guarantee. If something isn’t working, try something else. It really is that simple. I tell you what, if all else fails, we can throw our hands up and say, “Show me”! Then we can laugh about it all, look at our own feet, and see that we’re still moving forward, we’re still walking along the way together. How beautiful and perfect, if we simply allow ourselves to see. What lies above also lies below. Humanity isn’t perfect, but neither are we. We are perfect, however, when we realize our potential. And, the world isn’t a bad world either. It’s a great world when we accept what is. Then, we can see what must be changed, and that only we can implement these changes. I have total faith in you and in myself. Everything is going to be ok, it really is! Everything is ok.
Dearest companions, thank you for being here. You bring purpose and wholeness to my life in every way. As a teacher, I can only encourage you to proceed, and gently remind you that you will succeed. I never ask of you to blindly accept anything I have to say. But, I do ask of you to try it on, and see if it works for you. I am not a Master, I am a mere disciple on “The Way”. The Way, is the same way for you. It is you and me who are learning how to love in the worst of times. In this way, we create the best of times, now, and always.
A simple peace
A simple freedom
A simple love
Together, we be
Together, we achieve
All my love and support, your friend and brother, Todd