I remember a time when I was filled with furious activity. This and that, and everything. Here and there, and everywhere. One day, my friends, I woke up, and I realized how tired I was. It wasn’t that I wanted to give up, it was just a simple, but powerful awareness, that I could not continue in the same way any longer. I felt overwhelmed, and I knew I must become free. Free of something. Yes, I had things to take care of, things I had to overcome, but again, I was too tired to pursue them anymore. What shall I do? It dawned on me, perhaps I just needed to be free of myself. How, I asked, how?
I knew I had a physical body, as old and tired as it was becoming. I knew I had feelings, an emotional self, as exhausting, unreliable, and unfulfilling as it was. I also knew I had a great mind, as scattered and racing as it was. But, this part of me knew of an ability to figure things out. The most important part of me, that I was fully aware of, was much bigger, bigger than any of these three. This part of me was already free. A spiritual being, a spiritual self, what the hell is that? Who is that? Where does it live? Why does it seem so far away? Oh, my pattern, my path of least resistance returns again. It’s time to get busy. It’s time to make it happen. Wait a moment, stop. The voice reminds me, this cannot work, this will not work.
There came a time for me, and there will be for you too, a moment of great overwhelm and exhaustion that must be addressed. There will be no more forward movement, for this moment can no longer be escaped. Booze, drugs, sex, money, work, it does not matter. Whatever your mechanism of self-defeat might be, they’re all the same. Have you ever asked yourself, “What is all this busyness about?” My dearest friends, what all this is about, is us trying to be someone we are not. Go back in time now, as I often still do, and recall that original question. What do I want? What do you really want? Oh, I want to be that higher part of me, the one who truly knows, the one who is already free. A stranger? No, not a stranger. Get busy and accomplish this most important of goals, sure, that seems like the right answer. Remember, that’s what we have been doing all along, and we’re still doing it. The reason we keep trying to be somebody we’re not, is because this is somebody we have already been. There seems to be a cruel, cosmic irony that is upon us, and I’m going to tell you what it is. The higher part of us we long for is who we already are. The resolution to this irony can be found in a very bad habit we engage in every moment of every day. That is, we keep trying to achieve something that has already happened. The realization that we already are that which we seek is too simple, you see. But, the voice within stands out and says, “The path to the true self is simplicity”. Keep it simple.
The physical self and the spiritual self. One represents one thing, the other something else. There is no big esoteric secret here we need to understand. There is no great mystery to resolve. A bridge of light is all that is required. One self is fear and limitation, the other is love and freedom. We can heal this temporary division, my friends, but it does take a while. I would do you no great service by misleading you. But, I can tell you, this healing is not as far away as you currently believe. The starting point in healing this most necessary relationship, for that’s what it is, is acceptance. The pain and struggle is nothing more than us fighting ourselves. You see, we believe that if we accept, we fail, for we will lose all effort to become better. This is a fallacy. The reality is, you are ok. You are doing nothing wrong. To be the self that you really are, you must let go of the past, for that self no longer exists. The higher self is who exists now. It may be difficult for you to grasp, but we do not choose between two opposing selves, we simply choose the self that is. The suffering we experience is that of a stretched rubber band, in which we wholeheartedly believe is real. Breathe, let go of the tension, for the breath is the life. The two selves living within, who are apparently at odds, can work together. Our eternal struggle to be someone we are not falls away. Today, let these two parts of you reunite in a common effort and purpose. Give it some time, but not too much!
I remember being in pain. It seems like forever ago, and yet, just today. I was utterly tired. Tired of crying, tired of feeling like a victim in life, tired of trying to be someone I could never be. I let go, yes, I let go. Today, I am light and I am love. My fellow brothers and sisters, you are the same. You must know, in order to heal this painful division that exists inside of you, that there is no difference between you and everyone outside of you. It follows, then, there is no separation between who you believe yourself to be now, and who you want to be. And, I must tell you, we love each other, not because we have to or because we should, but because that is all that can ever be. The higher part of us, that better self we seek, has already arrived. Will you join us today? The old self, the painful self, is remembered, but is no longer.
The physical self
The spiritual self
The one self
The quiet self
The touch of breath
The touch of light
Yes, my friend, just be
All my love and support, be well