One of the most serious plagues infecting humanity today is addiction. Addiction comes in many shapes and sizes. It includes not only the obvious physical ones such as alcoholism, but the more subtle, or not-so-physical ones, such as the acquisition of money and things. With a little honesty, we can all recognize that we suffer from at least one of these addictions and that they most definitely impact our lives in a negative way. Let’s begin by defining addiction as something we have in our lives, we feel we need and cannot live without. This simplicity will help us all relate to and include ourselves in this most serious problem. It’s important to, first, understand that addiction, in and of itself, is not the issue. It’s only the product or result of underlying conditions. Let’s take a look.
Escapism
The stress of everyday life is something we’re all learning how to deal with. This stress isn’t just about improving our outer life, such as our job or relationships, but how we feel about ourselves in our efforts to become that better self. We want to be at peace and feel relaxed and confident. Unfortunately, there are times we become overwhelmed and reach for something outside ourselves to help us feel better. What we are attempting to create is an escape hatch, if you will, in order to cope with all these challenges and adversity. Ultimately, our goal is to find the tools and skills we need to handle our lives properly, within. When we rely on something outside ourselves such as drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, or even money, we have created a dependency you see and have lost control of ourselves. We forget that we are the creator of our life, we steer our own ship. Another major contributor to the creation of addiction is our unwillingness to deal with the pain of our past. Fear and pain are uncomfortable for us, so we try to “numb it all away”. As we continue to avoid ourselves, our addiction takes hold and begins to adversely affect our jobs, our relationships, and even our physical bodies. We have entered the dangerous path of self-destruction. It’s a path of darkness and despair. Fear, pain, and stress can indeed feel like a prison, but our addictions have simply created yet another prison, you see. This is not the way. If we destroy our life, including our physical body, we have not only lost our way, but we won’t have a way to deal with anything ever. There is hope for us to find a better way, but we must first realize we cannot run away from ourselves forever. Addiction cannot take care of what exists inside. We must confront ourselves and choose again. It may be helpful to understand the definition of insanity here. True insanity is “doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result”. If you suffer from addiction, you will wake up one day and experience real exhaustion. It’s time to move forward.
Moderation
If you’re still questioning whether you have an addiction, honesty is required. The spiritual masters have always said that “everything in moderation” is acceptable. What’s considered moderate in our behavior and our use of substances is different for each of us, but let’s get real! Moderate use is one drink per day, for example, not several. Sex once a day should be more than enough. Gambling, forget about it. If you think you’re going to win and the winning is going to fill the void, you are living a life of illusion. It’s not about winning, after all, it’s about losing. Losing is an addiction to victimhood and nothing more. As you continue to acquire that better car or bigger home, you will not only be broke, but you will feel emptier than ever. Love and wholeness are experienced within. There is nothing else to realize. There is no magic solution here, just choose a different direction.
Emotional Intensity
If we want to know how subtle addiction can really be, we need only look at our emotional life. Believe it or not, we actually believe we must always be feeling something. We are constantly trying to create some kind of emotional experience in order to feel alive. It’s true that excitement and joy feel good, and it’s understandable we would seek the creation of these types of experiences. We forget, however, that what comes alongside are feelings of failure and despair. The truth is that our ego does not care if feelings are good or bad, it only matters that we feel and feel intensely. We are addicted to intense emotional experiences then. Our addictions are a way to provide this for us. Isn’t it time to get off the roller coaster? Our attempt to numb the fear and avoid ourselves has simply created a reason to feel again in a different way, through our various addictions. Sure, we can feel something again, but it’s never a good thing in the end.
Sensitivity
Those of us who have serious problems with addiction tend to be very sensitive indeed. We need to know that being sensitive is a good thing! Being sensitive provides us with a pathway to the heart, you see. Within the heart can be found the love and peace we’ve been looking for all along. These are feelings that are long-lasting and are therefore very reliable. The best thing is, it’s created within and is our own. We cannot control or change the outside. In order to develop a healthy relationship with ourselves and find that essential love within us, we need to stop trying to cover it up with all our excesses. The other side of pain and fear is the love and freedom we seek. It’s well worth our time and hard work. Confronting ourselves and trying a different way is the only way.
“There’s Light at the End of the Tunnel”
I want you all to know that I have suffered from addiction my entire life. I had them all; drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, you name it. I tell you this because if you also suffer from addiction, you are not alone. Even more importantly, I want you to understand that these things can be dealt with and overcome. We are far more powerful than we believe. Finding myself at the gate of death was a wake-up call for me. As insurmountable and overwhelming things seem, there are answers and there is definitely a better way. Real love and peace do exist, and it feels good! You can achieve this as well. Escaping, avoiding, denying doesn’t work. This I know. If you’re willing, to be honest, and do the work, what you will find on the other side is truly remarkable and unbelievable. I guarantee it! I encourage you to begin your own process when you’re ready. In the meantime, if you need certain things in order to cope, it’s OK. There’s no judgment here. Self-judgment only keeps things going in the same direction. Ultimately, we do need to go within and deal with our stuff eventually. The fear and pain we all have don’t go away on their own. We have to confront. As you go within, you will discover the best friend you’ve ever had, yourself. You will not believe the love and courage this friend has to offer. Start slow and keep it going. It gets so much easier over time, and you’ll reach a point where you wonder why you didn’t do it a long time ago! I have been very fortunate and was able to handle most of the healing on my own. For most people, however, some additional outside help and support may be necessary. So, if you’re ready to confront yourself and get some work done, don’t be afraid to reach out. Personally, I would seek out someone who has been through what you’re experiencing. They tend to be the best teachers and are therefore the most helpful. Start letting go today. Don’t wait too long, we need you!
All my love and support, stay safe and be well