Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions we have. Many of us believe being angry is a bad thing, and it must therefore be suppressed or avoided. We need to remember that the purpose of any emotion is simply to indicate to us our perception of our reality within the moment. It is always our goal to be in a state of balance, you see, where we have that sense of well-being. If we’re not feeling well, our emotional experience is showing us that we are either in a state of non-acceptance and need to accept, or we need to take some kind of action in order to bring back that sense of balance and well-being. In this way, we can view our emotions as neither good nor bad, but a reminder that something is slightly off and needs to be addressed. Emotion can be understood then as a motivator within our experience. We are being asked to change something in order to return to that state of balance once again.
Each emotion has a slightly different process in terms of resolution. Fear and grief, for example, take a lot longer to resolve, for they are more deeply integrated into our sense of self and our view of life and the world. In other words, they are more complicated because they involve more than just one aspect of ourselves. Anger, on the other hand, is easier to work with, because it is so “in our face” that we have to do something. A sense of immediacy is more clearly defined. If we are feeling angry, we know something is wrong, there’s no question about it! When we’re ready to deal with it, there is one thing that is critical for us to understand before we proceed. My friends, if we’re upset, it isn’t somebody else’s fault. We must always be responsible for whatever we’re feeling. Unfortunately, we have a bad habit of blaming the outside, and this approach needs to be abandoned if we ever hope to find a solution. So, when anger pops up accept it, own it, and move forward. What we don’t want to do is suppress it or let it go prematurely, for it will inevitably return, especially if it has long-term relevance. Remember, something needs to change, and only we can change. The opportunity is presented to us, motivation becomes ours. There is no emotion we have that indicates to us necessary action more than anger. Now, we can seek a solution, but we must proceed with caution.
Anger isn’t a bad thing. What makes it bad is how we interpret it and how we use it. If we use it to attack and blame, our motivation becomes one of harm. Any harm we hope to inflict always comes from a place of victimhood. Not only do we victimize others, but also ourselves. This is a misuse of the creative process, for we misunderstand that change happens from the outside in. You see, the power to create change only lies within. We can change our thinking, we can change our response. What we must do is accept what we cannot change. But it is very important for us to recognize that what we believe we cannot change is not as much as we think. Almost everything can be changed, it’s just a matter of time. Only a willingness is required.
For the most part, anger is simply a cover for some kind of hurt or injustice. We must remember that the majority of our fellow human beings have no real intent to hurt or create harm. What they need from us is love. This, my friends, is something we can give in every moment. We know, as well, there are great injustices happening all across the world. It is normal and acceptable for us to be angry, for if others are hurting, we’re also hurting.
Is anger a good motivator? The short answer is it can be. However, if we let that be enough, if we blame someone else and do nothing, it serves no purpose. If we remain justified in our anger and seek no solution, then our anger builds upon itself and eventually creates bitterness and resentment. Our attitude about ourselves and others, our engagement with the world, becomes poisonous. This is quite damaging, for we have lost sight of our true nature. We have no sense of purpose if our only goal is to complain. So, if someone is behaving badly, don’t just be angry, say something helpful. If the injustice you see in the world seems to be eating you alive, educate, find a solution, become engaged. Peaceful resolution is the only way to go. A loving response to existing conditions provides us the way to give people what they truly need. Non-action indicates our need to blame. Blame reinforces victimhood, and this leads to hate and violence as our only means of creating change. My friends, we have every capability to choose a better way.
Anger becomes a welcomed friend if we allow ourselves to notice that something is wrong. It transforms into love when we do something about it. When we do so consistently, it becomes totally unnecessary.
All my love and support, be well