I think we’ll take a little time today and consider our use of speech and what it involves in terms of our actual motivation. Our intent when we speak is to create some kind of effect on the person or group we are speaking to, hopefully, to provide something useful to those involved. We are in essence attempting to educate others in some way in order to improve the quality of life by providing information of all kinds. This information comes from both our education and our actual life experience. For the most part, we’re attempting to be helpful, but in many cases, we’re just speaking for the sake of speaking. It’s important for us to recognize the need to speak less until we understand where we’re coming from. We must always be aware of our motivation first so that our speech has practical value and a positive impact on our environment. There are basically three areas we come from in our speech, either opinion, speculation, or experience. Let’s take a look.
Opinion
We are certainly aware, sometimes painfully, that everyone has an opinion. Some of us have an opinion on absolutely everything! More often than not, if we were honest, we would recognize that people generally don’t know what they’re talking about when they are speaking. Perhaps we could apply this to ourselves as well and take the time to be thoughtful and consider where we’re coming from before we say anything. The world could be a much quieter and more comfortable place if we would all engage in this very simple practice. In many cases, we are speaking because we want attention or want to be important. This is of course understandable because we all seek to know our value and make some kind of contribution. It’s important for all of us, however, to be “relatively sure” something is true before we speak of it. Ultimately, we understand something because we have some experience. Honestly, this is the only safe place to come from when speaking. The best example of this is within the scientific community, where things are proven through experimentation and practical application. If we approach our life and our speech from this perspective, we’ll be more successful and have a more positive impact in the world.
Speculation
Speculation is similar to opinion in some respects because it implies the absence of complete truth as it applies to everyone and all things. There is no person, even within our scientific institutions, that can see into the future and know something for sure. This applies to all of us as well. We don’t know what’s going to happen until we get there. There is a positive side to speculation, as it involves the awareness of possibility. If we know what our choices are, we have the opportunity to create the future we are looking for. The overall rule of thumb is to avoid speculation if at all possible. This is especially true when we attempt to assess another person’s life or behavior. We can have some idea of what is happening to another person, and to some extent why, based on what we have experienced. But we must always remember that our experience does not necessarily apply to everyone else in every circumstance. The best approach when trying to help another is a general attitude of love and compassion and allowing them to find their own way. When we speak, we speak from our own experience as much as possible. “This has worked for me, and you can try it” is really all we can provide.
Experience
Experience is part of who we are, but it’s not all that we are. We are always growing and changing. We must keep in mind that our experience is unique and important, but in many cases, it only applies to us. That is not to say we do not have wisdom and are unable to be helpful. Our experience is valuable, and we can most certainly be of assistance to another. Ultimately, we are finding out what works for all of us and speak of that. Leave what only applies to us to remain where it is. It’s absolutely essential that we come from experience in our speech. It’s ok to not know something. We’re all learning. If we do not have an answer, we need to be honest about that. Most of us do have the intent to be helpful, but we often forget that we are not responsible for another person. We simply are not capable of being there and having all the answers for everyone all the time. This recognition is a big part of spiritual maturity.
Our excessive use of speech is problematic at best. At worst, it tends to create a lot of unnecessary harm or unintended consequences. If we don’t have an answer or don’t really know what we’re talking about, we need to be quiet. Nothing bad is going to happen if we remain silent. To use speech with the purpose of “filling up space and time” is not productive, nor is it helpful to anyone. We can all greatly benefit from understanding our own experience and speaking from that perspective. We may also be surprised to find out that silence leads to that peace we’re all looking for.
All my love and support, stay safe and be well