Acknowledge me! Listen to me! Love me! Tell me who I am! Oh my God, we can be so demanding at times, can’t we? If the truth be known, we spend way too much time seeking validation from others. This is a painful path indeed, for others are seeking the same thing we are and are therefore unable to give it when we ask for it. Ironic, isn’t it? What we need to realize is that when we seek acknowledgement or validation from the outside, we’ll be disappointed more often than not. Attempting to define ourselves through others on the outside is unreliable and inconsistent. We have to discover ourselves on the inside. We must develop an inner security and integrity that is much more reliable and a lot more permanent. Honestly, another person cannot truly acknowledge us if we don’t know who we are. When we see ourselves, others will see us too. We are all in the process of realizing the need to reverse our orientation or how we go about our lives. Acknowledgement and validation can only come within. Let’s consider a couple of reminders in hopes of establishing this realization more firmly within our hearts and minds.
Demanding Attention
There are those times when we’re feeling lonely or insecure and require some attention. Yes, we need a little love! We then go about trying to find someone who has either the time or inclination to support us in our time of need. Honestly, you guys, it’s a 50/50 chance at best. Unfortunately, if we can’t find what we’re looking for, we start to get a little desperate and begin demanding it from others. That’s not really fair, is it? It’s not realistic, either. We get into the habit of needing that constant attention and support from the outside. This type of support is not very reliable. What’s even more important, we will never find our own answers within, which is what we ultimately need to do. It is our own integrity and self-understanding we seek and must rely upon. It’s not easy. It takes a little practice. When we’re feeling unstable inside, we need to find a way to give ourselves some attention first, before we reach out to others. This self-discipline is required of us in order to find our own way. If we still feel we need a little support from the outside, that’s ok. Just remember it’s not always going to be there. It’s time to stop demanding things from others they cannot give. We have what we need inside.
I’m ok, You’re ok
The quiet desperation we feel will eventually get resolved. Feeling unimportant and unloved is only temporary. Again, the wholeness and comfort we seek cannot be found on the outside. It is our inner life that will provide this for us. When you’re feeling scared and uneasy, take a deep breath and tell yourself you’re going to be ok. You are ok. Sit down and have yourself a good cry. Get it all out. Then we need to stand up, be mature and move on. There’s plenty to do. Now, the reverse is also equally true and important. We cannot give someone else everything they want at all times. We cannot be there for them whenever they need us. What we are trying to give ourselves, well, we must give others the same opportunity. We have the same process as everyone else, and we can support one another by understanding that real love, support, and the answers we’re looking for come from within. I’m ok, you’re ok!
A Lonely Path
The most difficult part of our journey is that intense loneliness we experience at times. We feel like we’re standing all by ourselves and going about our lives as though we’re invisible. This feeling is a temporary matter of perception and nothing more. This will change as we develop that necessary relationship we have with ourselves and our inner life. It does get better, but we must work on it. We are strong, we are more independent than we believe, and we will find wholeness and peace. We are never alone. This is the only reality we hope to create. Just imagine, when each of us comes to this realization, and are able to bring it to the outer world, what a wonderful and beautiful world it will be! This we can trust and rely upon.
We walk alone, together. Think about that!
All my love and support, stay safe and be well