Every human being has a built-in principle that exists in their heart and mind called truth. It is a mechanism, if you will, that guides us through life and helps us become who we want to be. Believe it or not, we do understand what the truth is in any given moment more often than we would like to admit. The importance of expressing truth cannot be overstated, as it is a reliable means to success in every area of life. If our goal is to understand truth, we must be honest in our approach in all that we say and do. This principle applies to how we approach our own self and how we interact with others. Let’s consider a couple of things here and remember that a “common-sense” approach will always provide us with the best guidance.
The Truth About Yourself
Our primary goal is to gain a better understanding of ourselves and therefore have a clearer sense of who we are. In order to “know” who we are, we must “be” who we are. We begin by realizing we are imperfect and that’s ok. This is true of every human being. We can also accept the fact that we are somewhat unique as an individual and may therefore appear slightly different as compared to others. In order to be authentic or genuine, we must learn how to present ourselves as we are, imperfections and all. We already have an idea of what this is, even though it may be a partial understanding, but we cannot know for sure if it’s true until we try it on. It’s much like putting on a new outfit and seeing how it looks. We then go out into the world and present it and hopefully get some feedback from others to see if it’s workable or not. Yes, we must take the risk. If it isn’t suitable, we can always try something else!
Being liked
One of the greatest impediments to being honest in our self-presentation is our need to be liked. We want to be accepted and understood by others. The realization that everyone isn’t necessarily going to appreciate or like us is indeed a painful one. There will be times, then, when we need to proceed anyway and let the chips fall where they may. If we remember our basic intent of “doing no harm”, we’re going to be fine. We cannot worry about the rest. The mistakes we make in our interaction with others are simply an opportunity to understand where we’re at on our path to self-awareness and understanding.
Developing trust
We can provide ourselves an incentive to be honest and truthful by understanding that others will trust us more. Trust is required in order to have others cooperate with us. The reality is that we do in fact need others to help us get what we want and need in our life.
Self-awareness
If we present ourselves honestly, to the best of our ability, we will eventually succeed in all that we do. We often do not know how we’re “coming off” in our dealings with others, but we can rest assured someone will point it out to us. We must be cautious, however, and not allow ourselves to become dependent on the approval of others. Our ultimate goal is to stand firm in our authenticity. Negative feedback or a lack of cooperation doesn’t necessarily mean we are incorrect in our approach. If we believe we are doing the right thing, we may need to be patient with others and give them time to see where we are and who we are. Not being understood by others may simply be a lack of self-awareness on their part. We cannot always assume we are correct or know what the truth is, however. There’s a fine line between stubborn self-interest and a willingness to listen, you see.
The Truth About Others
The more we understand ourselves, the more we will understand others. The more we know about others, the more we will know about ourselves. There is a mutual interplay between what is happening inside us and outside us. Both are necessary and important. Our main focus is to achieve self-awareness and understanding. The other people in our life are not our job. Their job is not us, but themselves. This will help us distinguish and define what our responsibility is. Ideally, our interaction with others needs to be one of observation and not so much active involvement. This is what our mothers meant when they said, “mind your own business”! Nevertheless, we will be aware of many things about other people. Our challenge is to know how to handle it properly.
Knowing truth and withholding information
There will inevitably be times when we know the truth about something but are unwilling to share the information. Perhaps the real question is, “should” we share the information? It’s important to realize that withholding information is not the same as being dishonest. If we remain aware of our motivation, we’ll know what to do and do the right thing. We might know the truth about something or someone, but it might not be the right time to divulge, or it may not be appropriate for us to get involved at all. My rule of thumb is to not provide information unless it is asked for. An important exception is when someone is in some kind of danger, then we need to step in. Another is when we are asked a direct question. At that point we would, of course, want to provide what we’re aware of and tell the truth. We always want to use common sense and our best judgement, for each experience will be slightly different.
Avoiding gossip
We have a tendency to busy ourselves with what other people are doing and what they’re all about. I think we all know what’s going on here. If we are hiding from ourselves, we need to place the attention elsewhere. When we engage with the bad habit of gossip, we are only avoiding ourselves. In other words, talking about others helps us hide from what we need to do in our own life. We’re defeating our own purpose and most likely harming others in the process. Avoiding ourselves is not a good idea in the long term, for it will only slow down our progress. Take a deep breath, step back, and observe. Things will work out better this way.
An attitude of support
We all want to feel supported in our lives. If we want this, we must be willing to provide it for others as well. We must learn how to practice building each other up rather than tearing one another apart. It might feel good to put someone else in their place, poke fun, or make someone wrong, but we are only harming ourselves in the end. The guilt, shame and self-judgement we experience after the fact will indeed “eat us alive”. There are always safeguards present to help us with our behavior. If we want to feel better about ourselves and our life, let’s help others do the same.
Just a couple of thoughts today. We need to be responsible for ourselves by being honest about who we are and telling the truth when it’s appropriate to do so. When we hide from ourselves and others is when we experience some unnecessary anxiety and are prone to some questionable behavior. So, take a risk and tell the truth about yourself. You’ll feel a whole lot better!
All my love and support, stay safe and be well